The Secrets
Avatar Secret No.3
Ask for Help
& Allow Yourself to be Protected
In some ways, it felt like cheating to ask for help; All of the great novels I’d read in my life had taught me that it is the moments when we face great challenge, alone, that our true character is revealed. But World of Warcraft doesn’t reward you for your independence, it rewards you for completing quests, and if you need to align yourself with someone else to get there, then that is part of your strategy. Sometimes, a successful quest requires asking for help, and that’s not defeat, it’s a form of strength in and of itself.
But our society trains us to be self-sufficient, to know how to take care of ourselves and think independently. The more I play the game, the more I wonder if maybe we haven’t overdosed on this idea of self sufficiency in contemporary life. How did independence get to be so rewarded in our society anyway? Have we become so independent that we need to relearn how to form connections?
In my first month of playing World of Warcraft I learned that knowing how to take care of yourself and asking for help aren’t mutually exclusive. In fact, it seemed that the best way to take care of yourself, might actually involve asking for help.
In the game, success is measured on completing a quest – there are no bonus points for completing a quest on your own. One month into my journey, and I found myself wondering how this experience crossed over to real life. Is doing everything for yourself, and by yourself, really the best way to lead a happy, successful life? I tried to think of a scenario in the real world where there is added value in completing a challenge solo; I couldn’t.
I still don’t know if I could have gotten through those early quests on my own. Part of me was curious to test my own skills, but another part of me enjoyed being so completely reliant on my warrior friend, The King. As I continued playing, I eventually let myself lean on The King, to need him. I was reliant on him, but instead of feeling vulnerable, I started to feel safe. By letting him take care of the things that were natural to him, it allowed me to focus on my skills and bring my strengths to the partnership. And I knew my stats, my backstory and my strengths, so I was able to do so. The biggest surprise was that he started relying on me, too. By allowing myself to be protected, I’d found my own strengths.
Not all of us are warriors. But if you are a healer, and you let a warrior fight off strong enemies, you might find yourself saving the warriors life. Know who you are, and where your strength lies, and when you need to – ask for help. By trying to be good at something that isn’t the right fit, we may miss our own greatest talents.
Sometimes it requires allowing yourself to be vulnerable to find your true power. When it comes to love, we often keep up our guards out of fear of being hurt. But in fact, being guarded prevents us from forging meaningful bonds. It’s only by letting down your guard and truly being open – by allowing yourself to be reliant and vulnerable – that you can being to form deep connections.
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